


Rehearsal

by Creekei



Category: Cyrano de Bergerac - Edmond Rostand, James McAvoy - Fandom
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe - Actors, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Love Confessions, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:48:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28151136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creekei/pseuds/Creekei
Summary: It seemed like a good idea to come over to his place and do some scenes together but it was already somewhat after 11pm and they were getting more tired by the minute. For some reason it still wasn't working. No matter how they approached that extremely gorgeously written monologue, it just didn’t sound right.
Relationships: Cyrano de Bergerac & Roxane, Cyrano de Bergerac/Roxane, Cyrano de Bergerac/reader, James McAvoy/Original Character(s), James McAvoy/Original Female Character(s), James McAvoy/Reader
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I was extremely inspired to write after watching Jamie Lloyd's Cyrano de Bergerac in London.

It seemed like a good idea to come over to his place and do some scenes together but it was already somewhat after 11pm and they were getting more tired by the minute. For some reason it still wasn't working. No matter how they approached that extremely gorgeously written monologue, it just didn’t sound right. 

During the last few hours, he went through his usual stress phases. She knew all of them by now: concentrating hard; forcing himself to do it better and better, this way, that way; then getting sleepy, nearly falling asleep, so tanking up an enormous mug of coffee at one sip; then being furious, throwing the script in front of him. But right now he was just tired. Exhausted, overworked and at his wits end. 

Though after that last line he read - the first letter the audience will hear his character writing to hers - there was a slight change in the atmosphere. They were not just hoping for it: the air really became charged around them and as he looked up from the script, their eyes met and she felt her cheeks blushing. 

“Krrhm.” - she quickly looked away, embarrassed - “Sorry, my mind was elsewhere. Can you repeat please.”

He cleared his throat.

**“I love you, Roxane…**

**If I could speak I'd've said...**

**I want you… And I want... to wake up**

**beside you every morning in your bed…”**

_ Oh god I wonder how his skin looks like when he just woke up. I wonder if he still wakes up with an ere- _

"Is something wrong? Your cheeks went all red.” - he asked with a bit of worrying in his voice “ I’ll go open a window to get some fresh air here. It really is late.”

He stood up and she tried not to look at his bum.  _ Jesus girl, what’s going on, haven’t you been working together for months now? Are you starved enough to jump on a colleague because he read a script? No, you surely don’t wanna do that. This is your job, for god’s sake, pull yourself together. _

She managed to regain her composure and when he sat back onto his leg on the sofa, she went on with the script.

**“Well - it’s like this - we’re not little kids any more -**

**and there is someone - a man - I have**

**very strong feelings for.”**

Silence.

She looked up.

He was now looking at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

“What is it? Was that good, you think? I want to emphasize the intensity of her feelings and how excited she is about them, but somehow also make it evident that she’s talking about somebody not present.”

He cleared his throat again. “Yeah, sure. Poor guy.”

“...Excuse me?”

“Nothing... I just mean it must be hard for the guy. Having this amazing woman sitting in front of him... and she has feelings towards someone else.”

She looked at him curiously. His voice sounded emotional but she couldn’t quite catch his face in the dimly lit room, with streetlights behind his back.

“... Yeah. Erhm. Okay. We discussed that a couple of times. I think we are on a winning streak here, do you think we should give another go to the monologue? And then call it a night?”

“Sure. Let’s do that.”

They both scrolled through the script for the famous lines and fidgeted a bit on the sofa, relocating themselves comfortably for the important minutes to come.

“Go ahead” - she waved a welcoming move with her palm.

**Well in no particular order…**

**I love you.**

**I need you.**

**I go to sleep thinking about you [...]**

He started on his usual voice but then it slowly, gradually descended to the deepest of regions. His consonants got rougher by each line. Then about half time in the monologue, he raised his gaze… fixated it on her face and went on just by heart.

**[...] I’m looking into your eyes.**

**I’m kissing your eyes.**

**I’m pressing you against a wall.**

**you’re pushing back.**

**you’re pushing back…**

She felt her lips part involuntarily and her insides turn into liquid fire. Breathing was like laying under some heavy quilt. This time she couldn’t turn away, couldn’t tear her eyes from his face. It was as if the room was slowly spinning and falling, with only them inside, down into a deep, dark and luscious abyss.

**...your body wants mine.**

**you kiss my mouth.**

**you bite my lip.**

**you-**

“Stop looking at me like that…” - she whispered, barely audible.

He fell silent. For a few seconds only their scattered breath could be heard.

“...I can’t.” he finally answered, in the same tone. “I can’t stop. I can't stop looking at you. ...Actually…”

“...Yes..?”

“...I haven't been able to take my eyes off of you... since you first walked in on that stage. I see you even when my eyes are closed. I can't even sleep. Or when I can, I have dreams about you…"

His voice fainted, he got insecure. She felt dizzy, her heart racing. Moved a bit closer to him on the sofa and reached with trembling fingers for his knee.

The scripts fell on the floor.

"Can I tell you something..?" she asked, still under the influence of his words, still in a dumb, heavy, sweet silence that felt like it had its independent will and right now it wouldn’t want to be interrupted with a single loud word. 

He nodded, with blue eyes open wide and lips pressed tightly together with worry and impatience.

“I…” - she started talking to her trembling fingers on his knee.

“I feel... quite... lightheaded in your presence too, as it is…”

"You do…?" 

"I do, of course I do... I watch you during the day then I go home and hear your voice in the night. It fills my soul. I feel you there with me... but I can't  _ really  _ feel you. So I imagine the touch of your hands... your lips... the warmth of your breath on my face. I can't think, I just feel, and I feel pain, I feel pleasure, I feel… You. I can't stop feeling you-"

His lips were on hers. A long, long kiss, with his hands on her thighs, his face contorted from all the emotions, her tears leaking in between their lips. Then they let go but stayed close with eyes closed and she sighed. 

"Husshh…” - he whispered, stroking her face. “Oh goddamnit… how long…? If I only knew… I had no clue, can you imagine...?”

She chuckled nervously, still having his forehead leaned against.

“Yes I can - apparently we walked in the same shoes…”

He laughed shortly and freely towards the ceiling, holding her face gently in his palms. Then fixated his eyes on her face again and smiled. “Come here. The script can wait. Let's talk about ourselves.”

He leaned back on the sofa and she cuddled under his arm. Started drawing circles with her fingertips on the broad chest under the dark t-shirt. It just felt so indescribably right to lay together like this.

She sighed again. It felt like she was sighing all evening but she was letting go of everything she held inside for a long, long time.

He reached under her jaw and raised her face to level his.

“No need to imagine anything now. I’m right here. " - he said softly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They didn’t know when they had fallen asleep but when she next opened her eyes, the room started to have colours. Dawn painted lights on the floor, on the table, on scripts lying around, on the sofa, on his legs, on… wait, him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is something I was extremely inspired to write after seeing Jamie Lloyd's Cyrano de Bergerac in London.

They didn’t know when they had fallen asleep but when she next opened her eyes, the room started to have colours. Dawn painted lights on the floor, on the table, on scripts lying around, on the sofa, on his legs, on… wait, him?

She realized she was laying halfway down on something warm and robust and that something was moving up and down, slowly and evenly.

Within a second, memories of her confession filled her mind and she twitched in fear, muscles jumped in a shock. Has she fatally exposed herself…? No… his words came to her. How he was holding her, looking at her as if seeing her for the first time… and her body slowly relaxed again. She smiled to herself and her gaze started to wander up and down on the “something warm and robust” that was still breathing deeply by her side.

He was lying lower than she remembered, head leant back on the sofa with his face towards her. His broad chest was rising and falling, warm air left his plush lips from time to time and his beard seemed of a higher colour in the starting sunrise. 

She couldn't help but slowly drew her fingers on the line of his jaw and that made him squirm just a bit and he sweetly munched with his lips. She smiled wider at the sound and laid a full palm on his face - and that finally made him open his eyes. Narrowly, he looked at her and she could literally hear his brain cells creaking as they woke up too and started to make sense of his surroundings.

“Good morning.” - she whispered.

“Morni-haaaaaouuuwwwmmmm” - he yawned and stretched, pushing his chest towards the ceiling with an arm still under her. Then he looked at her and now there was a full realization in his eyes. “Hei love... Hei.” - he stroked her cheek with a finger and his voice fell low and hoarse. “How nice to wake up to you. Did you sleep well?”

“Mhmm. You’re a really comfortable pillow.” - she softly grinned.

“Am I? Hm. That’s my second best feature.” - he grinned, leaned closer and she noticed how his cheek was red and creased from the couch.

“Really? I don’t seem to remember hearing about the first.”

“Because it's not meant to be  _ heard… _ ”

They were whispering in each other’s mouths right until he finally kissed her, quickly, sweetly, mouth still tasting from sleep.

It was reassuring. Then she didn't dream those immersive confessions. And he didn't change his mind because of her usually looking like a zombie before her morning coffee. That gave her more confidence. 

"Oh.. That.. Well. I can't say I'm convinced. You'll need to provide more samples."

"Ohho..! Are we talking science? Come here..." 

He sat back and lifted her onto his lap within the blink of an eye. Well, with those arms he could've move trucks. She couldn't even protest, not that she would have, anyway.

"Science is not for me, little girl. I am a man of poetry and practice."

The second kiss came immediately and was long now, rich and passionate, the taste of morning in their fully opened mouths. Appetite rapidly spread in their bodies. His arms slid up on her spine until the back of her head and he pulled her strongly into the kiss, eating her mouth up. She squeezed his thighs with hers, trailing her beard and hair with her tiny fingers and she pressed herself into the robust body under her that was just as much exposed to her moves as it was controlling them. 

Air quickly ran out of the room and she was all hot in her body when he broke the kiss. His lips smacked so deliciously, she wanted to be all over him again but his eyes clearly told that he had a new thought in his head. A not so decent one.

"Last night…”

“Mhm…?” - she was still panting from the kiss, didn’t know what he was waiting for, what on earth is he waiting for?!, seriously it felt like she put her whole life on hold for this moment, can we just…-”Yes? I’m all ears.”

“...I couldn’t quite finish what I have started to say, you know.”

“You couldn’t?”

“Mhm. And now I feel like there’s so many things I want to tell you before we… But then again, it seems impossible to stop what we’ve started here…” - he grinned.

“Ah yes, agreed, thank god, so-” she was quick to reach for his belt between her thighs but he grabbed her wrist.

“Nonono, wait. As I said: poetry and practice. I want both. We can do both. I can tell you what I need to without us having to stop this… delicious morning routine.”

She shrugged with questioning eyes. “Both? How...what do you mean?”

“Come here.” He adjusted her legs around him, pulled her head next to his mouth and started reciting in her ear.

**...I don’t know how to begin this…**

“Oh nooo, you’re not being seriou-”

“Ssshhh!” - he held her down and went on.

**Your existence... has changed the whole world for me...**

**I’m terrified to speak… that’s why I’m writing this…”**

Her eyes closed and she was not shivering; her whole body was shaking, hard. On the very short way to orgasm already, just from the way he spoke, how his mouth blow hot air on her earlobe.

“O my god… Yes, go on… I want this… I want-...”

He bucked his head back and looked into her eyes.

“Tell me. I want to hear what you want.”

She blushed. “But why-” - “Say it.” - “But..-” - “Do it! You want that too."

"I… krrhm.”

"Let me help. "

He started to touch her feather likely, on her ribs and then wandering up and down, following his fingers with his gaze - and quoting.

**I love you… but it’s so hard to express…**

**I’m… suspicious of clichés…**

“I… aaah….you’re torturing me...”

He roughly kneaded her waist and looked up into her face, biting on his lower lip.

“Tell me, sweetheart. Don't be shy. I want to know."

**Sweetheart. Is that true? Are you my sweetheart or are**

**you - like I am - one half of a-**

“Ah stop, I… I w-want…  _ you… _ " 

“Hhhhnnghh... yesss.” - he let out an animalistic sigh from the depth of his throat, then vehemently grabbed her under her ears and on the back of her neck again, pulling her into a strong, deep kiss, invading her mouth with his tongue, pressing her body into his, she was completely helpless in his arms - it was as if he wanted to devour her, become one body and one soul. 

“I want you, I want you, I want only you, you” - their breath mixed as she panted, as if by finally saying it once there was nothing else she ever wanted to say again and she was out of her panties now, opening his belt, freeing him, raising her lap just a bit and then lowering herself onto him, taking all of him in and then buried herself into his neckline.

Then they were still for a second. Holding each other. Processing the completeness that filled both of them.

And then he started to slowly move inside of her - and reciting again.

On a voice that could move mountains and wring water out of any flint and set fire to a country of forests and it indeed set fire to her insides that were already barely holding on.

**...the whole world shimmers - I’ve no wit,**

**I’ve no mind,**

**I’ve no brake,**

**I’ve no self control,**

**I’ve no authority over myself...**

… and with every line he moved into her, he pushed with his hip forward where he pushed with his tone and she really felt her world shimmer around her.

**I strip you,**

**I clothe you-,**

With that, his movements stop and she felt grateful and desperate at the same time, because part of her wanted this to end much later than she felt like it would at this point, with her being in this crazy mad state of arousal, but the other part of her just wanted him to go on and on forever, no matter what, never mind time, people, schedule, seasons, wars or the earth moving.

“Baby?” - “Hhm?” - “We don’t need this.”

And he took her loose shirt off and wandered his hands on her bra and belly.

**I worship you…**

“Oh god, I’ll die.”

**...I desire you...**

He raised her head with a hand, she was with throat open towards him and he took her neck with his firm fingers again,

**...I embrace your neck,**

**I kiss the back of your neck-**

"Inaccurate impleme..- aah…!!" - the skin on her throat flamed up under his bearded mouth and now it was her who involuntarily continued the lines she knew oh-so-well,

I’m speechless, I’m..aahh, I’m speechless, all I... can... say… is…

“I… want… you” - she ended where she started and he whispered it with her, into her and with that reciprocity he exploded into her and she came vastly, from the very depth of her insides, bursting into one immense, glaring flood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do we finally consider this as a successful interpretation of that monologue?" 

She giggled into the line of his neck that had sweat drops mixed among the freckles.

"I can only speak for myself but I had the time of my life. Better choose another way of presenting it though."

"Why, you don’t like being watched?" - his grin went from ear to ear. 

She boxed into his forearm but laughed freely. 

"And? Did you tell everything you needed to tell?" - she smiled cheekily. 

“Hahh. Sweetie, I think you know me by now, I always have  _ just one more _ thing to tell." 

" Oh yeah, right, I know, sorry, Mr Poetry and Practice. Talking is your best feature."

"Really now? 

**I take that as a personal insult.**

You come here!!" 

His flat, now glowing in full morning lights was loud from their voices, as he tickled and bited her until she ran out of breath from laughing and fighting back. Which she did eventually, and returned to his vaste bare chest to cuddle on.

It was nice, enjoy the moment together.

She was thinking. 

"James, darling" - “Mhm.” - “You have my heart in your hands when you act, you know...”

A pause.

Then he smiles.

“Then I shall take good care of this precious, fragile burden.”


End file.
